"Hello you have reached 1-800-rat-fink. The state of Ohio toll free line for all of you who have a need to turn in your neighbors, friends, family members and just those who have irritated you today.
"Press one to turn in someone you want to accuse of drunk driving.
"Press two to turn in someone you want to accuse of miss treating their children.
"Press three to turn in someone you want to accuse of smoking where the state disapproves.
"Press four to turn in someone you want to accuse of getting high.
"Press five to turn in someone who is not wearing a flag lapel pin.
"Press six to turn in someone who is just not All American enough.
"Press seven to turn in anyone anywhere who might be having a good time."
Yes a one stop phone line for anyone who misses or never got to experience the good times to be had in Stalinist Russia or Red Scare America. Let's not just stop with all those above certainly we can think of many other reasons to turn in our friends and neighbors to the cops.
God bless America.
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