Don't worry, you can trust me. I'm not like the others.

Banned In China

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Barack Obama's New Year's Resolutions

This came from a super secret unnamed White House source because he (or she) just wants to look like they are really important to themselves and to the person they leaked the stuff to without getting blamed for it, if he (or she) gets caught and it back fires:

1. Try to really act like I give a shit about anybody who makes less than a million a year.

2. This year really look like I know how the fuck to negotiate at the same time I give everything I claimed to want away before negotiations really start.

3. Keep all secret deals with various industries and corporations secret for at least six months after I make them so I can screw the general populace before any of those fucking bloggers find out.

4. Start another war that I can really call my own.

5. Convince the rubes that I'm trying to save Social Security, while I cut it some more.

6. Shoot a man in Yemen just to watch him die.

7. Squish those Assange and Manning fuckers like bugs.

8. Give even more tax cuts to the most wealthy while I continue to convince the rest of America that it really is for their own good.

9. Get Wall Street and the rest of big business to yell really loud about how they are being destroyed by my socialist policies so the average democrat will really think I'm doing something.

11. Get down on my knees and thank god that "No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public."

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