Arghh, try and try again.
We put my mother in what we thought was an assisted living facility, but it turned out to be independent living, when what it turns out she needed was Skilled Nursing care.
We found another place only three minutes from home which does provide the Skilled Nursing and moved her two weeks ago. The relief is palpable. Within a couple of days we realized how much we'd been doing and how much less we had to do here. Essentially, they do the care and we do the visits. Either Traci or I have been going every day, usually both of us, sometimes together and sometimes separately. My Mom has certainly made major improvements in just a couple of weeks.
She has to do an irrigation on her colostomy every other day and she had simply forgotten how to do it, that combined with the fact that she seems to no longer have any sense of time, made many accidents. Now that there are nurses coming to make sure things get done it seems like a miracle to us. Traci was in there anywhere from two to four hours every morning at the other place. I was there from one to two hours every night and we were both making sure that she took her meds properly (she really doesn't take that many, but they are important) and just to give her some time around other people.
Luckily, my Mom is considered "delightful" (the exact word that most of the staff uses about her) so they are more then willing to go the extra distance for her. Our being in there daily helps because they know that we will find out if things are screwed up.
It is interesting that most of what Mom is doing is not different, just more so, if that makes sense. the only thing different is that she now eats a full breakfast which no one in the family can remember her ever doing.
I am still going on with my court cases and at last I seem to be able to provide some more then just minimum attention to them which is good since I have a rape (mandatory prison time if my guy gets convicted), procuring a juvenile (which is the same, essentially since it was a seven year old alleged victim) my guy is "mildly mentally retarded." Which meant that my guy was sent to a lock down mental hospital for nearly six months to make him competent enough to understand what was happening to him, although he was still not Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity or Mental Defect, tell me how that works?. Also, tell me how they can make a mentally retarded guy more competent, please.
Well, now to go out and watch the American Masters on Gore Vidal which is finally available for a week for streaming. I think I will probably post on Vidal since he is one of my favorite writers. Although, each time I think I am going to start posting, Life intrudes. Several people apparently find him beyond the pale because of his comments on the victim in the Polanski thing, I'm not so sure that I completely disagree with him, and I'm not sure that even one comment that is beyond decent brands everything else a guy does. If that were the case then none of us would read Faulkner.
Finally I've got to get a letter off to the other place to explain why I do not intend to pay the $4Gs they want for the month my Mom won't be there since they couldn't properly care for her when she was there. Should be fun